worst dressed man in pool

Money Money Money

2009-02-17T03:41:00.000-08:00

Well, it's half term week and I'm looking after the little man for a few days. It's a great excuse to watch cartoons and play with the Scalextrix! He loves to go to Toys r Us and was emptying his wallet and asking me how much the contents would be able to buy there. As the sum total in there was about 4 quid I had to advise him "not a lot!!".
Anyway, I thought it was about time I tried to teach him something about the value of money, so I sat him on my knee, picked up one of his pound coins and asked him if he knew how many of them it took for us to be able to live in this house each month. His reply was "Four?".
"No mate", I said, "just to put this roof over our heads takes over 900 of these". He squealed in wonder "900?? WOW!!"
I continued "And then there's over a 100 each month for the council, 60 for the gas and electric, more for the water and there's loads go on food too!!"
He was somewhat stunned by this revelation, saying "that's lots and lots, Daddy!"
I was pretty stunned too, so I'm now off for a little lie down...

Back Again

2009-02-12T00:52:00.000-08:00

I just remembered I had this blog thingy set up, so I thought I really ought to be a little bit more committed (yeah, I know, should have been committed to a place with soft walls years ago) to actually writing something in it.
So, in a nutshell, I have returned and will try and tear myself away from facebook long enough to actually have something to write about...watch this space, well, not this space specifically, but the other ones that will contain some inane drivel, you get the picture...

Out of the mouths of babes...

2008-02-04T02:37:00.000-08:00

It was the weekend before Christmas and Steph and I had taken my little lad, Zak, who is 4, up to my parents so that he could be spoilt rotten by his grandparents (Grandad with the beard and Granny TJ). Zak is something of an early riser, no matter what time he goes to bed, so on the Saturday morning, when he had woken up with the sparrows I decided it would be a good idea to tell him to get into bed with us as it was way too early for me to be moving anywhere. Anyhow, as we were lying there, Zak pointed at my chest and said "Daddy's got big boobies"!! (I'd like to point out that I was lying on my side and they were somewhat squashed hence creating that illusion...)
I stretched out a bit and indicated that perhaps I didn't.
Warming to his subject, he said "Mummy's got big boobies hasn't she Daddy?".
I agreed and said "You know what, Steph's got big boobies too, hasn't she?"
He nodded wisely and said "Yes, that's just the way we like them, isn't it Daddy?!!"
He makes me so proud sometimes...

Hi Ho, Hi Ho...

2008-01-02T08:04:00.000-08:00

It's back to work I go...
After over two months off work, it is finally time for me to go back. My back is pretty well recovered apart from a couple of minor twinges so after consulting with the work physio I am allowed back. It will be something of a shock to the system after pretty much doing nothing for the last nine weeks but on the plus side for the first couple of weeks I only have to go in for four hours a day which is pretty cool.
I have spent the last week down in Wales with the better half's family, been waited on hand, foot and finger and generally chilling out. Needless to say, Steph and I spent an awful lot of time drunk, so now is a good time for a bit of "detoxing" and hopefully making some effort and getting myself a good bit fitter than I am now. Alternatively, I might just stick to the beer....

Errr, um...

2007-11-26T08:30:00.000-08:00

I'm sat at home and I'm bored and can't really think of too much to say so I'm afraid I'm just going to leave a bit of space for you to insert your own anecdote/amusing story....

Excellent. Well done...

New Music...

2007-11-13T02:02:00.000-08:00

I don't know about you, but I'm pretty fed up with the garbage on TV at the moment, with all the so-called reality shows, especially the pile of excrement that is the X-Factor. However, in amongst all that dross, I have discovered one of these programs that actually floats my boat. Yes, it is another "find the next big thing" program but with something of a difference. It is real bands, playing their own instruments and singing their own songs, not just doing bad versions of other people's music as per that "other" show.
This show is called MobileAct Unsigned presented by XFM DJ Alex Zane with the other judges being DJ Jo Whiley, Blur bassist Alex James and Simon Gavin who is head of A&M Records. You can catch it on Channel 4, check out up and coming bands like Hijack Oscar, a bluesy/folk come soul band that are just a little bit different! Also The Headliners, a Sheffield based indie band with a great raw sound and The Bad Robots, something of an early 80s throwback band, but if you like The Jam and The Clash you'll love 'em!
There are several other good bands too so if you want to see a reality type show thats is just a little bit better than the others I recommend you take a look...

Fashion Statement?

2007-11-06T09:02:00.000-08:00

I have just upgraded my telly package on cable to XL, which means I get some extra sports channels, including Setanta, but also, to my surprise Liverpool's own channel. I'm not a supporter of them by any means, but when I was a kid I used to enjoy the way they played football. They were far and away the best team during the 70s, with the likes of Keegan and Heighway et al. Anyway, I was flicking through the channels the other day and they were showing a replay of the 1974 cup final between Liverpool and Newcastle. Apart from the awfully tight shorts and shirts a large majority of the players were sporting huge sideburns! Got me thinking about a good friend of mine who, for some strange reason, decided to grow some of his own. They were amazing things, tremendously lush and bushy, but beautifully manicured, a bit like a well looked after privet hedge. Trouble was, from a distance, it appeared as if he was wearing a pair of mobile phones on his face. Some of us did point this out (in a way that only good friends will do, with a complete lack of sensitivity towards his feelings..!) and they didn't last too much longer after that!! But at least now we know where he may have got his inspiration from.....

Lova ya Brooksy :)

The Best Joke in the World - Ever

2007-11-05T04:04:00.000-08:00

Why are pirates called pirates??

Because they arrrrrrrrrrre!

PS: As he he has quite rightly pointed out, the credit for this little gem must go to my good mate Spindle. At the time it was drink-spittingly funny and still makes me chuckle now!

Home Again

2007-11-04T03:51:00.000-08:00

Well, back home again after the operation. Sore, but otherwise doing pretty well, all things considered. No sciatic pain whatsoever, all that's left is a fairly dull pain where the surgeon actually cut into me. I have to say that it was quite a bizarre experience. They took me down to theatre, I started chatting with one of the nurses while the anaesthetist was doing something with my hand. The conversation had somehow got onto the subject of beer when the anaesthetist said "you are going to feel a small scratch now", next thing I know I'm wide awake in the recovery room and it's all over and done with and two hours of my life had suddenly disappeared! Never felt anything quite like it, not even under the influence of vast quantities of alcohol. Fortunately, I woke up in plenty of time for lunch and, having not eaten sine eight the night before, I was famished!! They still had me hooked up to a drip and some self dosing morphine thing, which was pretty cool, feel pain, press button, pain goes, wish it was always that easy! Anyway, after a couple of days of looking after me they decided I was fine to go home and sent me away with a whole list of things I'm not supposed to do for a while, some of which, I have to say, I'm going to miss a damn sight more than the others. Hey ho, there's more than one way to skin a cat, as my grandad used to say.....

Here Goes

2007-10-31T02:57:00.000-07:00

This is it!! I have just received a call saying the funding for my operation has been approved, so in the morning I'm off to hospital to have my slipped disc sorted out. I have to admit to being somewhat apprehensive, this is the first time I have ever had major surgery that I'm aware of and the list of the risks involved is fairly daunting! I did have some surgery as a baby but that was at eight months old when I had an extra thumb amputated (I'm pretty sure that it would have come in useful for something but my parents didn't give me the choice!). Anyhow, all things being equal I should be out again on Saturday and will be able to look forward to a few weeks off work. Hopefully I'll be able to move enough to get to the computer enough so that I can keep boredom at bay. If not, I'll be stuck into Sudoku and crossword puzzles. Wish me luck!!

Time Anomaly

2007-10-20T10:48:00.000-07:00

I went back to work this week, only for a few hours a day as I have been put on what work call "Light Duties". Very strange, the four hours that I was there seemed to last a lot longer than a normal nine hour shift. I've been racking my brains for an explanation and I think I have put my finger on it. I believe that because I'm only due to work four hours a day, I'm effectively starting closer to my shift end time and the last part of the shift always seems to drag as you are looking forward to finishing for the day. Therefore, working less hours is in fact counter-productive as you are already into the time dragging bit. Strange, but true, I think.....

Back to back

2007-10-12T03:20:00.000-07:00

Well, I went to see the consultant orthopaedic surgeon yesterday to discuss the results of my MRI scan. Amazing things these, a complete picture of my lumbar region and he was able to show me exactly where the problem was. One of the discs in the lumbar region is protruding between the vertebrae and is putting a great deal of pressure on the nerve that comes out at that point, which pretty much explains the agony I have been in recently, not only in my back but all the way down my right leg, especially in the calf area. This has eased a bit over the last week or so, as I have basically been lying in bed doing less that sweet f.a. Anyhow, he said to me that I had three options, the first being leave it alone and see if it heals itself, which wasn't an option as that's pretty much what I had been doing anyway and it clearly hadn't worked! Option two was to have an epidural and pumping a load of steroids and stuff into the area, which apparently can help, however he did explain that it was only likely to be a temporary measure and that the problem could re-occur. So, that left option three, which is surgery, a lumbar decompression they call it, where he will basically take a slice off the disc, patch it all up and hey presto, job done. Apparently there's a 90% success rate with this kind of operation with no further problems, so I have decided to go for that. So, in three weeks time, I'll be off to the hospital. Seems like a decent chance of returning to normal, or at least as normal as I'll ever be, but as most of my friends know, that's a completely different issue....

Blades Blunted by Bristol

2007-10-06T11:24:00.000-07:00

Having been born and bred in Sheffield, I am a lifelong supporter of the red side of Sheffield, an ardent Unitedite. So I was quite pleased today to be able to actually watch them on Sky Sports this afternoon. I really wish I hadn't. Pretty much outplayed in every department, Bristol City ran us off the pitch and beat us 2-0, so from being favourites at the start of the season our lot are now facing the prospect of relegation unless our fortunes change soon! Ant and Dec's Saturday night takeaway has suddenly renewed its appeal.....amazing what a bit of depression does for you...

MRI Scan

2007-10-04T04:23:00.000-07:00

Went for an MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging) scan yesterday, managed to get it done privately through the medical insurance scheme at work. Well, what a difference with private health care! I walked, well hobbled, into the scanning unit at the hospital, it was all polished wood floors and yes Mr Johnson, no Mr Johnson, do help yourself to a coffee etc etc...

It's quite a bizarre experience, certainly not a good one if you just happen to suffer from claustrophobia! They lay you down on a table, press a few buttons and you roll slowly backwards into the machine, the opening probably no more than two feet in diameter. You certainly get a feeling of being very much enclosed. They also supplied me with a set of headphones and asked me which radio station I'd like to listen to. I asked for XFM, failing that I said that Radio 1 would do nicely. Needless to say, I didn't get either but ended up with Radio 4 and an episode of The Archers, marvellous! What surprised me most about the whole thing was how noisy it was. Beeps, buzzes and whistles and all sorts. In fact I'm pretty sure that some techno band has used the sounds and made a hit single out of it somewhere, more than likely Germany, the German taste in music being on about a par with their comic ability...

Anyhow, got to wait a week for the results before they decide what they are going to do with me, in the meantime I get to sit at home having been signed off work and watch England being battered by the Sri Lankans in the One Day International series.....I think I'd rather be at work....

What's in a name?

2007-10-01T04:46:00.000-07:00

Went to the surgery today to get some more meds for my back. Dr K. Wan was the GP that saw me and it kinda got me thinking as to how his name would appear in the phone book.....
Wan,K, Dr......well it made me chuckle....

Work has it's funny moments

2007-09-29T12:23:00.000-07:00

I work in a police control room as a radio operator. Anyway, despite being a fairly stressful environment there is the odd moment of levity.
I have recently been diagnosed with having a slipped disc and have been prescribed various medications, pain-killers, other stuff to reduce inflammation etc, and for whatever reason I am still struggling into work (for which the good lady gives me a lot of abuse)
Anyhow, I was at work the other day and on the phone to a particularly awkward MOP (member of the public) and after a fairly lengthy conversation I seemed to have resolved the matter he had called about pretty much to his satisfaction. As I ended the call the Inspector (my boss) shouts over saying, "Blimey, Steve, I don't think I've ever heard you so polite!"
I held a packet of pills up and called back "It's the new drugs, Guv, they're anti-inflammatory....."
He threw something at me......

Here We Go

2007-09-27T04:05:00.000-07:00

It's amazing what you get up when you are off work and bored at home. You've checked all the "usual" websites, watched a bit of daytime telly (yuck!!) and have finally got round to finding a channel with some golf on it. The washing is in the machine, the dishes are done and you are somewhat stuck for something useful to do.
Having been reading a very good friend's blog, and mostly laughing out loud or spitting coffee at the computer screen whenever I read it, I thought I'd give it a go....
So here it is, my very first post on a blog, I may never do it again, but it seems to be the thing to do, so you never know, I may post some more. (I have a feeling I may have used too many commas there, but what the hell.)

The title of my blog is a testament to my best man. I got married a few weeks ago and part of his speech included abusing me for my dress sense, especially at pool matches. The sad thing is, I can't really argue with him, but hopefully the new wife will be able to assist in helping me with my wardrobe issues......watch this space!